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Identity: Horse chestnuts.

History: Introduced to the UK over four centuries back.

Look: The outdoor world's collectible doll.

That can't be accurate. It is. Check out a social media video of someone revealing a conker, and you’ll probably hear them refer to it as “nature's Labubu”.

Opening up horse chestnuts? What on Earth are you talking about? Oh wow, you really are out of the loop, aren’t you? Gen Zers are using social platforms to film themselves unpeeling conkers from their spiky capsules.

But why? Because of the sense of wonder! When you open up a conker, you never know what you’re going to get. Will it be big? Might it be flattened? What will its shine level be? It is like a mystery box every time!

Are Labubus big and flat and shiny? No, they’re vaguely hellish-looking dolls that have become collectible because they are sold in mystery boxes.

Would someone inform the younger crowd that they are not using conkers correctly? Are they? How do you do conkers, then?

Thread a lace through the center, and try to destroy everyone else’s conkers. Wow, really? That’s unusual.

Yes. You’ll have a much better chance of winning if you leave it in vinegar and then heat it in the oven. You're not joking?

Seriously. And should you gather an excess, you can toss them in the schoolyard and all the other kids will fight each other for them. A lovely item from nature like a conker, and you use it as a tool for battle? A weapon that comes with a lengthy list of arcane and bewildering rules?

That's the custom! The King recently awarded the World Conker Championships with a gift of 300 conkers! At least gen Z is only filming them.

Why don’t you know this? At a guess, because certain schools prohibited the game two decades ago, due to concerns over well-being.

The modern world never fails to amaze me. Maybe unboxing conkers just doesn't appeal to you. In which case, perhaps you would be better suited to some other hot new gen Z trends.

Oh really? Like what? Well, there’s this thing called knitting, and something else called clay crafting that I can explain to you.

We’ve had knitting and pottery for centuries! Let me guess, you heat tools in apple drink and then use them to poke each other?

No! OK, calm down. I assumed that all old-people traditions involved some type of aggression, after that conker thing.

This is overwhelming. Take a breath. If you need me, I’ll be opening plant seeds online.

Do say: “TikTok can’t stop filming conker reveals.”

Don’t say: “This is nuts.”